[Survey] It Was Just A Cookie!

Dear Callum,

I know I haven’t been the best brother, and to be honest I don’t know what being a brother entails apart from just being really good friends. So, you can’t really fault me for the actions that I took last night. They were the actions of a hungry Xero, and for that reason I must be excused!!

Now, this is gonna sound heavy, or a little intimidating, but hear me out I had my reasons! First of all, I was looking for something to eat, and when you’re hungry, it makes sense to find food in the refrigerator. You know, the fridge that we share and put our combined food and snacks in? The one that we don’t label our food in because that’s the pantry’s job considering all of your snacks are dry and don’t need to be refrigerated? You know, that fridge? How was I supposed to know that the cookie that you were saving for later that afternoon was specifically for you if it was in the fridge? That’s just reason number 1 why it’s not my fault!

Reason number 2 is I yelled back when you accused me of eating the cookie because you were yelling about it to begin with! Now I know you’re gonna say you “weren’t yelling, all you did was raise your voice”, but what is yelling, but raising your voice? Checkmate, bucko. Plus, it’s really hard to make yourself heard when there’s so much commotion going on in this tiny little apartment we’re in, so please, spare our neighbors.

My third and final reason is that I wanted something sweet! Do I need to defend this point? It just makes sense! I was hungry, I wanted something sweet, it was there. That's not my fault! Next time, put it in the pantry like we always do! Geez!

Your phenomenally unapologetic brother,

Nashan